Oregon Trip..part 1

Driving by yourself to Oregon is a great adventure. I made it in one piece except for one wrong turn which put me an hour off track. I had to make up time by taking a little country lane down into a green valley between two mountain ranges, which was actually a very pretty drive. So pretty in fact, that I thought I had passed into Narnia for just a second with all the little cricks and cottages and pastures. The mood was literally squished when I murdered a chipmunk on accident though. Little shit just ran in front of the car and stood up on his haunches and looked and me wiggling his nose. Next thing I know, there is the smallest of bumps and I see a little ball of ground beef in the rear view.  I stopped for the night in Redding and got myself a little motel because the sign said free internet. I asked if they had WIFI and the lady told me she didn’t even have a TV, and that she just gives everyone who asked for internet this cable thing.  So I checked my email and did some work sitting Indian style 18 inches from the wall and then fell asleep to the Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Later the next day, I found myself in amongst a long chain of biker dudes and their wenches. I did some anthropology on them and discovered that there is definitely a social structure to their riding configuration. Like birds on migration, there is form and function to their riding. From as far as I could tell, the King biker gets to ride in the pole, breaking the wind with his mustache. Behind him are the elder statesmen, who alternate left and right in the road, maybe so that at nighttime, they look like a real car, with one light one each side of the lane.  Then, in the middle are the fully fledged younger members with the guys without full back patches riding in the rear with me.

I also realized that there is nothing a man may need in this world that is not for sale at an Oregon gas station. You need some decorative Elvis plates for your trailer home, got it. Maybe some replacement fuses for your CB or a home entertainment center for your RV, got those too. It’s unreal.