Gualeguaychu - The Camping Recap

So I haven’t updated anyone on the camping trip. It was actually not as horrible as I expected. I’m short on time, so here’ some of the highlights.

-First off, we had to drive 4 hours through the swamp to get to this place. But it was a double decker bus, so it felt like we were flying because you can hardly see the road below. Passed through some beautiful scenery. Argentina is actually quite beautiful. 

 -Argentines camp like Cuban refugees fighting for a scrap of floorspace on the last piece of plywood to Miami. That is, they squeeze into every available piece of dirt they can find. No sites, no respect for neighbors. On our third day there a family put up a tent literally right next to ours, at about 7am, laughing and cackling about something. Diego, one of roommates put his head in his backpack thinking it would be quieter. 

-We had to stay in a tent. It was $7 us per night, for all of us. They threw a homeless man pad on the floor which me and Peter slep on sharing one blanket. But the homeless person pad stunk like dog, like a real fucking dog, so we had to get really drunk every night before we could lay on it without getting the heaves.

-In the bar, it was hopping till about 1am, then the tables get cleared away and they get ready for thereal party, but it didn’t start till 4. So I have no clue what these fuckersdo for 3 hours. But from 4 till 10 am it is raging. All the women are smoking hot. But when you look closer you see that they are all real young. We ask one how old she is and she tells us she’s 14. Yup 14, and throwing back tequila’s with her back arched over the bar, kissing the girlbartender, and basically acting like ho’s. My kid sister is 15 and seems half as old. 

-We decide to get really drunk so we can stomach the homeless smell in our tent and order Tequila shots all night long. The bartenders begin to know us and the people start to notice that we are talking in English. So feeling a bit famous in the joint Peter and I declare that we are throwing down a mad rep in the joint and that the next night we’ll roll in like kings. Of course, we’re the biggest Borat’s in the place and if we have any rep it’s for being dumbasses. But after Tequila’s…we don’t notice this.

-At one point we go to the famliy fun center and I learned that Peter has one incredible flaw. He is an absolute degenrate push game player. This is the game where tokens are hanging precariously over the edge of some tiered ledges, and you drop the coins in to try and make a bunch fall. I’ve seen these in Vegas, but after the age of 12 you reaize that black jack or craps is a million times more fun. Not for Peter. He seriously spent almost all his money on the push game. A whole crowd was gathering around watching him drop the shit and then dance like a lottery winner when 3 tokens fell out.

-I kicked Peters ass at air hockey, 7 to 6. Holla!

-The next day we hung out at camp, went to the beach, and took naps in the nasty tent, but didn’t care because the hang overs were pretty shitty. One cool thins we saw was the horseback riding business they had there. It was run by this kid that was like 5 years old. He would put the people on horses and then run over to this cement block and use it to jump on his horse because he was too short to saddle up normal. He’d pull and grunt and finally get on top and then lead the crew around the sites as the leader. He seriously ran this whole business by himself and was like 2 feet tall. The Peter and I argued about whether they were horses at all because I thought they were half donk. Then we argued about what you call a half horse, half donk. I still think it’s an ass…

-Day 3 and we packed it up to head back into town for Carnival. This town has the largest Carnival in Argentina. But we decided not to go. It was in this HS futbol stadium, not out in the streets and it jsut felt lame. So instead we WENT TO THE CASINO and both won grip on the black jack table hammered.

-We stayed with this Argentine grammaw who rents out rooms in her house. I felt really bad for her because she rented out all her rooms and had to sleep in the kitchen!!

-The town of Gualeguaychu hates Uruguay because there is a city across the river that just opened a paper plant that dumps all sorts of shit into the river. This floats across the river and pollutes the beaches. So the Argentines closed to bridges to Uruguay so that cash rich Argentine tourists can’t cross anymore and spend tourist dollars. So all over the town people are wearing t-shirts that says No Papaylera. It’s all over the news and papers, and to these people, is the most important thing in their lives. The Uruguay tourism minister even compared closing the bridges to the terrorism of 9/11. It’s just funny. As an American, we have a huge Presidential election going on now, we have wars in Iraq, our dollar is shit, Iran is acting up, we’re losing our economic power to the EU, India, and China. All kinds of bullshit. But for the people of Gualeguaychu, the most important thing in the world is the fight with Uruguay over the paper plant. Seeing that kind of thing gives you some persepctive on the world. It’s hard to think that not everybody’s problems are just like ours, or whether other people even give a shit. 

All in all, a good trip!