Argentina Sucks

Not really. It’s actually pretty cool, but there are some SUPER SHITTY things about it. Something about Latin America has a way of turning simple tasks into almost farcical comedies of human nonsense. Yesterday, Peter got a X-mas package notification so we’re both all excited to go and get it, because neither of us has gotten a package in forever. Seems simple enough right. First, we walked the 8 blocks to the Subte (Subway) because the system here is pure shit. The subway map here was laid out by a retard. All the trains meet in one place, and then fan out like sun rays with almost no intersections, which is great if you want to get to the main hub, but even going a few blocks in the perpendicular direction is damn near impossible. Sometimes we take cabs to a certain Subway stop, because there’s no other way to get there.

Once we arrive at the main hub, we walk another 4 blocks, where we see the post office. But it’s on the other side of a 10 lane highway. There’s no crosswalk, so we just fucking make a run for it in our flip flops, following the local Porteno’s who we assume know what they’re doing. Outside the post office is an army of hot dog vendors and grills cooking up burgers, an ominous sign that the people inside need food breaks they’ve been there so long. Inside was pure madness, a mob of people hovering over a few postal workers calling out numbers. But this was just the beginning. Through an arched doorway is the second waiting room, where hundreds of people sit fanning their sweaty faces. At least 2 babies are bawling inconsolably. We take a number and begin to wait. After about 10 minutes I look to the woman next to me and see that she is reading a book in English. So I ask her, “hey, I see you’re reading English, maybe you can help us out,….what the hell is going on here?” What she tells me blows my mind. Basically she laid out the process of receiving a package here in Buenos Aires.

1. Show up at this madhouse and take a number.
2. When they call you, give them the slip of paper you got in the mail and show them your government papers. (We don’t have these.)
3. They take your name
4. You sit in the big room with the crying babies.
5. They call your name.
6. A customs official takes you in the back.
7. They open your package in front of you, and estimate it’s value
8. They give you a price, which you CANNOT PAY RIGHT THERE!!!!
9. You go to bank, where you make your payment.
10. You come back and do the whole thing over, showing them the receipt from the bank.
11. They give you the package.
12. Your eat a fucking hot dog and go home.

If you’re lucky the whole thing will only take 2 days, and about 8 hours of your time. So yeah, Argentina sucks. Don’t send me a package because I won’t be picking it up.