Peter an JW lose their asses at the TRILENIUM!.

So the largest casino in South America is just outside the city limits of Buenos Aires. This is bad for Peter and I cause we’re both degenerate craps players with no willpower to control our man vices. So we totally went. And just like all casino’s, the Trilenium is a testy bitch; a cruel and unsympathetic mistress who reels you in, fucks you, and then punts you to the curb with your pants around your ankles.

We were each up 300 pesos!!!

We had dinner with pockets full of plastic chips, drinking glasses fulls of rum and beer and fruit-wine-death-mix.

But sadly, back in the Trilenium afterwards, the tide quickly turned. The dice! Sweet Moses the dice! I have never seen such a run of Sevens after the come out roll. Can a brother get a 6 or 8 once in a while?? Can I get a Yo, just once!! In a few short moves of the croupier all our money was lost. We even spent our cab money home. But, never to be left in an unhappy state, we took pleasure in mingling with our new native Argentine brothers. Let’s see, there was the Elmer Fudd looking muther with the trucker hat that said Yo “Heart” Jesus on the front. He was our immdiate favorite. Then there was the thirteen year old girl cruising around the place taking fat saps on her huge pink Daquiri getting hammered. Then there was the dealers, who unlike the pros in Vegas, would have to help each other count the chips out every time, complete in their see through button up shirts and polyester clip on bow tie. Ahh the Trilenium!!

And of course, because this is Argentina and life is supposed to be inneffecient, there are no ATM’s within 5 blocks of, or inside, the casino. So we used our last pesos to eat our 3rd giant hotdog of the day and decided to wait till dawn. Luckilly, one of the hot dog girls saved us and called a cab. That is, she called her mobbed up uncle to drive us the 40 minutes back into town. We got in a totaly unmarked vehicle and prepared to be murdered. On the way we ask to stop at an ATM and sure enough a shady car that was following, pulls in close behind us. I thought I was going to have to perform Capoeira on some Argentine ass. But in the end, it was just more late night suckas who spent at their pesos at the Trilenium.

So, we get out at 666 CataMarca just as the sun is rising. We are depressed for having lost all our money. But the cool thing is that..when you add it all up…we lost something like 93 US dollars. God Bless the devaluation of the Peso!!! We’re already making plans on going back and collecting our money from the grimy Trilenium paws that done stole it!!!