Argento the Sheisse Bike Rides Again!!!

The only way to see Berlin is by bike. You can zoom around the neighborhoods faster than walking, and without the limits of the S-Bahn rail. Its also free and keeps you lythe and European no matter how many beers you drink. So within 18 hours of being here, I got myself this beauty for 35 Euros. It’s a piece of shit, but that’s the idea. A bike isn’t a real Berlin bike unless you bought it from a shady Turkish guy, it squeeks and groans down the street, and you’re a little afraid to ride it. I got mine at Boxhagener Platz which is a weekly flea market. The guy was super shady. He even gave me the ol’ Turkish stink eye when I asked him to tighten the seat. After trying for a few minutes I think dude walked to the sidewalk and took a seat of some poor saps bike and put it on mine. It was still loose though, so I had to go “saddle out” the whole way home, or I would have fallen off the back the instant I sat down. His wife also gave me a lock, and had a ring of about 200 keys she tried till she found one that worked, which explains where they get their inventory for the flea market every week.
I’ve named my mount Argento, which was the name of my bike last time I was here. I know its unoriginal, but I think a Berlin bike is like Air Force One, its not about the plane, but who’s riding, that gives it the distinction. So any Turkish shit bike that I happen to be astride while cruising around Berlin, is going to be Argento.
3 years ago











